Lovely Counted
Lovely Counted
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Fountain Framed by a Lovely Garden, Counted Cross Stitch Pattern Counted Cross Stitch Patterns for your cross stitching enjoyment. We sell Fine Art Counted Cross Stitch Patterns as well as flowers, landscapes, lighthouses, animals and windmills cross stitch patterns. Stitch Count: 252w x 189hFabric: Aida, Antique WhiteFour approximate finished sizes:14,16,18 and 32 CountFinal Pattern Sizes:14 Count, 18w X 13-1/2h in16 Count, 15-3/4w X 11-3/4h in18 Count, 14w X … |
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Lovely Easter Morning Cross Stitch Pattern Counted Cross Stitch Patterns for your cross stitching enjoyment. We sell Fine Art Counted Cross Stitch Patterns as well as flowers, landscapes, lighthouses, animals and windmills cross stitch patterns. Stitch Count: 72w x 113h Fabric: Aida, Antique White Three approximate finished sizes: 14,16 and 18 Count Final Pattern Sizes: 14 Count, 5-1/8w X 8h in 16 Count, 4-1/2w X 7h in 18 Count, 4w X 6-1/4… |
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Lovely Golden Egg Cross Stitch Pattern Counted Cross Stitch Patterns for your cross stitching enjoyment. We sell Fine Art Counted Cross Stitch Patterns as well as flowers, landscapes, lighthouses, animals and windmills cross stitch patterns. Stitch Count: 90w x 144hFabric: Aida, WhiteFour approximate finished sizes:14,16 and 18 CountFinal Pattern Sizes: 14 Count, 6-3/8w X 10-1/4h in16 Count, 5-5/8w X 9h in 18 Count, 5w X 8h in*Please N… |
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Lovely to Look At: Charted Designs for Counted Cross Stitch and Needlepoint … |
Love or Infatuation; Knowing the Difference
She seems to be the perfect one you have been looking for and he also looks like that special one that satisfies your very heart desire. You can’t just get your mind off him and you think she might be a perfect match for you. Nothing seems to matter any longer, she seems so perfect and great an utmost desire of your very act, nothing you say could ever change your love for each other.
But the question is that “how do you know if you’re really in love”? It’s easy to mistake infatuation for love. Although we always hear that infatuation is a shallow emotion, it’s actually quite powerful. Lots of people claim to be in love when in reality they are only being infatuated. We hear words like “I just know he is the one for me”, when asked why, they tend not to give a convincing answer, some ended up saying “I feel it very strongly”. But one thing that these individuals do not take into consideration is that infatuation is also a feeling.
It’s heartbreaking and alarming that most of the relationship that develops overtime end up in frustration and anger. I believe that a proper understanding of what love and infatuation is will prevent you as a youth and single from having a painful love experience in life, and this will help you from hurting yourself and others.
To start with, it will indeed be very helpful if we can define what love and infatuation is, this will give us a simple and laconic understanding of what they entails.
What is Infatuation?
Infatuation is an intense but short-lived and irrational passion for somebody or something. I think this is the simplest definition of infatuation to the best of my knowledge. Now, let’s see what love is.
What is Love?
I must say at this point that defining love might be a little bit difficult, reason being that it is a word of different meaning to different people and circumstance. Wouldn’t you be surprised when a person says he loves his job and few minute later turn to his wife and say “I love you”, you wonder what the difference between the love he’s exhibiting towards his job and the one for his wife is. This is so, because the root word from which our English word Love was translated has levels and categories, but those level and categories was not found in the English. So, that explains the reason why there is confusion in the usage of the word Love.
In a nutshell, Love is a strong unselfish feeling of interest and affection expressed towards an individual. This expression could be casual, plain, intimate, romantic or natural.
It’s very sad today that most youth and singles uses the word “I love you” without even knowing the weight or the implication of the word on the other person. I remembered sometime back, I was actually going to send a text-message to a male friend of mine (because I am a text message freak) and ended with the word “love you”, and I sent this same message a female friend of mine forgetting the ending word. Thereafter, when we got to see each other, I discovered that she was reacting to the text I have earlier sent to her, so I decided to check her phone some few weeks after the whole event, and to my surprise I discovered that the message was still intact in the phone.
Now, let’s take a look at the characteristics of Infatuation and Love, to determine the difference between the two experiences.
CHARACTERISTICS OF INFATUATION
Here are brief features of infatuation, please considered each of these features carefully, if you discovered that you are exhibiting anyone of these features, you can immediately adjust and make correction(s) when necessary.
1. Based on Physical Attraction.
This is the most commonly exhibited traits expressed in infatuation. True love is not only based on physical attraction. An infatuated individual can be attracted to 30 people in a day due to physical attraction. I am not saying that beauty does not count in love, but it’s not the key factor neither is it the ultimate. One thing we need to realize is that physical attraction eventually fails as people get older and age. What count most are your lasting virtues – the inner qualities that you possess as an individual. So, if the reason you are in that relationship is wholly based on physical attraction, you had better think twice and make things right.
Recently, I had an encounter with a young biker on my way to school. I noticed that he displayed a strange gesture at a particular girl while the bike was on motion, so I decided to ask if the girl has offended him earlier, but he said no. Because I was curious to know the reason for his action, I kept on asking and he finally told me the reason. Guess what he said? He said he likes the girl.
Well, there is no problem liking a girl, but his was different. Due to his reaction, I further asked him if he would like to marry her, to that he answered an interesting yes and said something interesting. He said he sees 30 different girls in a day and his attracted to all of them!
To be very sure of what he was saying I asked if like those girl he has been seeing, and he echoed a resounding and an exciting yes. What this young man is saying in essence is that, he falls in love with 30 different girls in a day! That is what infatuation is all about; it gives you a burning but not lasting desire. If you are in the same shoe with this young man, you need to consider your feelings carefully and make sure you are making the right decision.
2. Selfish Aspiration:
One of the apparent features of infatuation is the tendency of expressing selfish desire in a relationship. If all you think is what you can get and not give in return, you are likely to be infatuating. Infatuated individuals only think of themselves and nothing more, they do not consider the welfare of the other person.
That explains the reason why every decision made out of an infatuated mind is all about self centeredness and egocentricity. If all your partner is saying or doing is to his favour and does not put you into consideration, then you can be sure that it wasn’t a true love.
3. Always in a rush:
One of the prominent features of infatuation is the fact the infatuated individual will always want things to be done in a hurry. One of the reasons why they do this is because they are uncertain of their next moves and feelings, and they felt they are unpredictable. And that is what they truly are, capricious.
For instance, if you are in a relationship and your partner is asking you for sex as a proof of his love for you, it implies that you are not loved but lusted after. One of the reasons why most young people give in to this sex crazy lifestyle is because most of them cannot discern between true love and infatuation. You need to understand that true loves waits and it is patient, it is not in a hurry to do things, especially in the area of sexual intercourse.
Listen ladies, if that guy truly loves you, he will definitely wait for you. But, if he says that he cannot wait, then, that is a sign that he wouldn’t have the time to wait for you in marriage and this is the most devastating aspect of a relationship – not getting along with your partner.
4. Does not last:
Another major feature of infatuation is that it does not last. Love on the contrary can stand the test of time, but infatuation cannot. Infatuation tends to be shot lived based on the fact that it a reaction based on peripheral and not from the genuine longing of the heart.
This is most times seen in relationship that evolves among young people of the opposite sex. When a relationship is based on infatuation, the individual seems to be the perfect being on the surface of the earth. Therefore, reality is no where to be found. It is only when infatuation has been fully maximized that the individual will come to the understanding that they are not truly in love. This might be painful at times as one of the infatuated individual suffers the consequence, or at most the two.
Infatuated individuals at the end of their blind love for each other later became the greatest enemy. The hatred and bitterness that follows is always alarming, as one will find it difficult to believe such individuals who seems to be moving along intimately could change in just a twinkling of an eye.
The truth of the matter is that, infatuation, is sporadic in nature, it comes and goes. So, if you discover that you are experiencing such feelings, try as much as possible to control yourself, because you will later discover that those young men or women that you are aphrodisiac about will later be of no interest to you, for some explicable or inexplicable reason(s).
These are the few features of infatuation that you need to watch out for, if you discover that you are exhibiting any of these, please make a quick correction before you regret the relationship.
CHARACTERISITCS OF LOVE
Having check out and examined the features of infatuation, it will be more helpful for us to examine that of Love too, in order to make the difference between the two vivid and clear. Here are the characteristics of true love.
1. Love Respects: This is one powerful aspect of love; it gives respect irrespective of the status, category or condition of the individual.
A relationship that is based on love is one that is full of mutual respect for the member of the opposite sex. This is one major feature that is lacking in infatuation. True love is not possessive and dominating, it gives rooms for the other person to express themselves by sharing their point of view while infatuation does the opposite.
Let me cite an example here for more clarification. If two young people are in a relationship, that is foundational on true love and not mere feelings, they see each other as two different people coming to a term, with the recognition that they are committed to tolerate each other’s perspective on the issue of life.
Love goes beyond mere feelings, true love takes a person the way they are, not the way they want them to be. This is yet another mistake that most young people make in relationship. They are always looking at changing an individual into what I called their
Mental Creative Robot. They want the person to become their dreamed personality or robot that has no choice but to yield to their desires, this terribly mistake, please don’t make such.
2. Love Grows: This is an outstanding feature of love. I discovered with the little experience I had about relationship that true love is not spontaneous, but it grows. Most young people are usually deluded with the thought that love is magical and could be out of the blue. This thought in summary is what is known as love at first sight, but the truth is that you can’t love the person you don’t know.
Most young people fail to realize that true love doesn’t jump into conclusion without verification, it is not something that happens abruptly, it takes time for it to develop and grow based on understanding and communication. It baffles me when young people say they are madly in love with someone they have hardly known, not even from Adam. Love is not just a feeling, it is more than that.
I personally discovered with the little experience that I have with individuals that true love is not something that comes
boobs; it is a systematic process that takes time to grow. Most people that I have come to love today is as a result of their personality and that is really what makes them beautiful and always good to have around.
Just like so many young people had been deceived to believe in the principle of love at first sight, many youth and singles has been entangled in the trap of this ambiguous feelings and mindset. Many youth through this principle have come to discover that their partner is not really who they taught he was, they were only been deceived and hook winded by their hormones and sensation.
Many youth have confessed to me that it seems they where being under a spell and where controlled by a force beyond their strength and resistance, thereby being a prey of this deadly and heartbreaking experience. Most of the love at first sight experience is borne out of infatuation and not true love. You need to understand that love is tangible and can be measured and evaluated, but not so with infatuation, that explains the reason why most infatuated individuals when asked for the cause of their feelings they tend not to give a substantial reply of what it is all about.
3. Love Gives: This is one outstanding truth that I have come to understand about true love. True love will want to give to other no matter how little it is. This same principle was expressed in one the most popular verse in the bible, John 3: 16 to be precise. It state that God love was demonstration thought the act of giving, it is sure an exceptional qualities that can’t be found in infatuation.
Though this feature is very efficient one, it has been abused and misunderstood especially when used under pretense and deception. You have to be very careful here, for the fact that someone gives and bombard you with gift does not indicate that they love you; some do these to merely take advantage of you. Therefore, how do you get to know that there is an ulterior motive behind such act, it the demands and reactions that accompany such action.
I heard of a case in which a guy who wanted the love of a young girl by all means, trying all he could but with no result decided to use this technique, so as to show the girl that he loves her. He gave her a financial gift and started making demand thereafter thinking that his supposedly
act of generosity and care would earn him the girl’s heat. But he was strangely surprised when the reaction he expected were not forthcoming and it seems his hope of getting his selfish desires is being smash against the rock, he decided to make demanded that his financial gift be returned to show that he wasn’t in love with the young girl initially.
You need to be vigilant as a young person, once you discover that a demand is being made based on the gift(s) that you had received, please check out the relationship, it possibly going to be an infatuation and not true love and might likely end with a bitter experience that you couldn’t have ever imagined. But true love gives out of the genuine and unadulterated feelings of passion towards another person for the purpose of making the other person a better individual.
There is a common saying that there is love in sharing, that is exactly what love is all about, it share with others so as to make them experience the same peace, joy, happiness and tranquility that he has. Here is the motto for infatuation there is infatuation in selfish demanding.
With these little explanation, I hope you will be able to discern between true love and infatuation. Stay vibrant and strong.
About the Author
Korede specializes in dealing with youths and singles. He is more concern about issue challenging the youths and singles, such as sex and relationship. Visit him at his blog at this link http://singlesandyouth.blogspot.com/
Nurturing and Caring for your Inner Child: How to Heal Emotionally and Master the Art of Self-love
To begin this process, remember how you looked at the age of three or four years and try to get a clear mental image of yourself at that age. A photograph may be helpful, if you have one.
Your inner child lives in your heart, the emotional center of your body. It is helpful however, to picture your child self outside your body in order to communicate more effectively with him/her. There are several phases to the inner child relationship. The first is the healing of your wounded child of the past. The second stage, which lasts the rest of your life, is nurturing your inner child of the present. This article will address both of these skill levels.
This child is not all that you are. You are an adult who has survived a lifetime of risks and hardships, growing and learning along the way. You have a brilliant mind, which you have used only partially because of the limitations of your parenting and the world you live in. There is much more to you than you know. If you are fortunate enough to have already recognized your greatness, you probably know that you are still not through. The closer you come to knowing who you really are, the more you realize how much you have to learn.
DIALOGUES WITH THE INNER CHILD
As an adult and inner parent, try making the following statements to your inner child and see what happens:
“I’ve been the kind of parent to you that my parents were to me. I didn’t know any better. Like them, I have abandoned and neglected you at times without meaning to. I’ve treated you as if you weren’t even there because I really didn’t know you were there. I thought that when I grew up, you just went away.
“I realize now that I may have hurt you at times. You are all of my feelings, and I have always thought some of those feelings were bad. So I tried to control you with substances (food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, medication, work, sex, love relationships), thinking I could make the feelings that I didn’t like go away. It didn’t work. The feelings just got worse. I am ready to change now and take care of you. I accept you as you are, no matter what you are feeling. Your feelings are my feelings, because you are who I am inside.”
Now become the inner child. Sit on the floor, curl up on the couch or assume any childlike posture that seems to fit what you are feeling. As the inner child, you are only feelings. You don’t think or analyze, you just feel. Try responding to your inner parent with:
“I’m glad you are finally recognizing me. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. I like what you are saying. It makes me feel better. I’m not completely ready to trust you yet. I need to see some action. I need to be able to count on you throughout each day. I am completely dependent on you. If you don’t love and care for me, no one will. You are all I have.
“When I am hurting or afraid, just hold me and tell me you love me. That’s all I ask. Don’t try to talk me out of my feelings, that’s just who I am. Just love me and tell me that you’ll protect me no matter what and that will help me feel better. I need to be told that you love me often, not just when things go wrong. When I am happy, I need you to smile and laugh and do fun things. I come out through your smile and laughter and playfulness. I also come out when you are loving and creative. I have a lot to offer you, if you will create a safe and healthy life for me. There is more joy and love in me than you have ever known, waiting to come out. Love and joy is who I am, and I am who you are. I’m counting on you. Please remember me.”
You might respond with something like: “You can count on me. I won’t forget you. I will make mistakes, but I will learn to avoid repeating them. I accept you just as you are, no matter what you are feeling. Your feelings are my feelings. I love you unconditionally. You are who I am inside. In loving you, I love myself.”
If you have difficulty with this exercise, write about your experience. This may help you figure out what you need to work on to get closer to the experience of self-love.
Your inner child may be too wounded or frightened for you to make a connection at this time. The concept may still seem foreign to you. If you like the words in this dialogue and you want to feel their depth and meaning, don’t give up. You may want to get some counseling to help you connect with your inner child in a meaningful way.
SKILLS FOR CONNECTING WITH THE INNER CHILD
Once the basic healing work is done with the inner child of the past, you need to learn to take care of yourself day to day by maintaining a connection with your inner child of the present.
Here are some suggestions for self-care and maintaining a connection with your inner child of the present:
Create space and time in your daily schedule to talk to and listen to your inner child. The key to this is imagery. Picture the child sitting beside you, in your lap, or jumping around the room. Just “checking in” with your child self will give you a reading on how you’re doing emotionally. You may find her hiding in a corner, or he might be scared and trembling. You may find as you offer support and understanding to the child, the image will change, giving you feedback on how you’re doing in your self-care. Explore and enjoy your self-discovery!
Take quiet alone time on a regular basis. Ideally 20 minutes to an hour a day, find a private comfortable place where you can relax, meditate and/or pray without interruption. You can incorporate journaling and inspirational reading into this time as well. Always allow at least 15-20 minutes of being still and silent. This opens your inner space to the child, and accesses your spiritual nature. It will also do wonders for the health of your body, mind and spirit. Make this quiet alone time a top priority, and you will bring more of your authentic self to your spouse, your children, your friends and your work.
When your body is showing signs of stress, that’s your inner child saying, “Slow down. You’re not Superman or Superwoman, and you’re neglecting me.” That’s when you practice your skills for relaxing, playing, creating and simply “goofing off.” If you ignore that voice, it will just get louder until you pay attention. An unhappy inner child may try to communicate through a headache, stomach problems, depression or even major illness. When we listen to the subtle messages, we don’t need the “loud” messages of illness and catastrophe.
Systematically and consistently create opportunities to express your feelings openly in a safe environment. Find a support group or a group of friends, and get together regularly for the purpose of keeping the door to your heart open. Twelve step recovery groups, therapy groups, men or women’s groups, book study groups and other forums often provide this venue.
Create opportunities for laughter and fun. If you don’t know how to play, then learn. Do a web search on “laughter and humor” and you will find lots of information on the health benefits of laughter and humor and how to get more into your life. There are conferences and workshops on play and laughter going on all over the country year around.
Be creative. This accesses the magical child in you, and further allows you to become a vessel for the expression of the Creator that lives within you. Take dance lessons, art lessons, or learn to play a musical instrument. Get on the floor or in the dirt with a child and let them show you the creative world they live in. Join them there and feel yourself come alive.
Temporarily or permanently end all relationships in which you are being hurt. Seek help, and only consider re-entering the relationship after both of you have had therapy and you have personally seen significant progress. Even then, proceed cautiously—you have a precious child to protect.
Only risk and commit to relationships in which you are loved. You deserve love, and without it you will not live fully and become the person you were born to be.
Embrace all that you are. Do not reject any aspect of your being. If you have problems, get help. You can have the life you want—and it’s up to you to create it. Finding the good in yourself and the world around you is one of the best ways to connect with and care for your inner child, and become your most amazing self. Become a Goodfinder today!
About the Author
William G. DeFoore is a counselor, executive coach, speaker and president of the Institute for Personal and Professional Development. He has 37 years of experience in helping people achieve healthy, happy relationships. Get free information, watch videos and purchase books, CDs and downloads at www.AngerManagementResource.com.
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Fountain Framed by a Lovely Garden, Counted Cross Stitch Pattern Counted Cross Stitch Patterns for your cross stitching enjoyment. We sell Fine Art Counted Cross Stitch Patterns as well as flowers, landscapes, lighthouses, animals and windmills cross stitch patterns. Stitch Count: 252w x 189hFabric: Aida, Antique WhiteFour approximate finished sizes:14,16,18 and 32 CountFinal Pattern Sizes:14 Count, 18w X 13-1/2h in16 Count, 15-3/4w X 11-3/4h in18 Count, 14w X … |
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Lovely Easter Morning Cross Stitch Pattern Counted Cross Stitch Patterns for your cross stitching enjoyment. We sell Fine Art Counted Cross Stitch Patterns as well as flowers, landscapes, lighthouses, animals and windmills cross stitch patterns. Stitch Count: 72w x 113h Fabric: Aida, Antique White Three approximate finished sizes: 14,16 and 18 Count Final Pattern Sizes: 14 Count, 5-1/8w X 8h in 16 Count, 4-1/2w X 7h in 18 Count, 4w X 6-1/4… |
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Lovely Golden Egg Cross Stitch Pattern Counted Cross Stitch Patterns for your cross stitching enjoyment. We sell Fine Art Counted Cross Stitch Patterns as well as flowers, landscapes, lighthouses, animals and windmills cross stitch patterns. Stitch Count: 90w x 144hFabric: Aida, WhiteFour approximate finished sizes:14,16 and 18 CountFinal Pattern Sizes: 14 Count, 6-3/8w X 10-1/4h in16 Count, 5-5/8w X 9h in 18 Count, 5w X 8h in*Please N… |
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Lovely to Look At: Charted Designs for Counted Cross Stitch and Needlepoint … |
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Botanica Pink 7-piece Bed in a Bag with 200 Thread Count Sheet Set $59.99 This bed in a bag set showcases daisies, peonies and butterflies in lovely shades of pink and purple. This bedding set includes a 200 thread count cotton sheet set with vertical stripes of lavender, purple, pink and yellow. |
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Sunflower Welcome Counted Cross Stitch Kit $19.59 Brighten up your decor with a lovely Sunflower Welcome counted cross stitch kitSet features cheery shades of yellow, green and blueNeedlework set includes 14-count white Aida fabric, pre-printed coordinated mat and more |
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